Episode 1

Fantum calls his troops round him

"we're about to take on the rattle, it's a tall order and we'll probably get shoe'd aots but we are doing it for ourselves, our mods and our families. Come on, let's type aggressively!!!"

Big Jan shits himself as he remembers chingate when everyone ran and left him for a cyber shoeing on his own. Big Jan talks to the camera, "it's all very well Kenny saying all that but when I needed them they legged it. I'll be honest here, I'm shitting it"

Chips comes on, has a look and legs it before the chins come on.

Episode 2 - next post

The Gates have released a statement denying reports in todays press that bjb intends sending threatening PMs to the makers of this programme.

it read "Contrary to articles in a number of todays newspapers, We can confirm that big jans belly has no intention of calling anyone during their tea or threatening people via the use of private message. BJB realises that he participates in an anonymous internet forum and does not take offence when other users who have not and never will meet him in person take the piss out of his Mother, Father, Kids, Sexual preference, Occupation, Clothes, Appearance, taste in Music/Film/Food, or his bird big janetta".

big jan added "anyone who takes their internet rep too seriously is a big wobbly tit"

* waits for latest IP bounty hunter to crawl out of woodwork.

has the apple man crumbled ?

has CRC gone MIA ?

I watched some of the show yesterday, couldn't watch beyond a bit where Brendhom was caressing some lads neck and whispering noncesence to him whilst the lad just looked awkward.
That and the goddaughter bit and daughters boyfriend bits were chillingly hommish.

Massive lack of Pacheco. He only comes alive like Dreamscape Posse when clad in inca yellow (to honour the sungods) unt green (to honour the lush fields where his tiny ancestors caught the flu off hunky Conquistadors)

GOD IM BORED

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get that golden glow with kenny fantum

I hate all this "behind the scenes" stuff.
When did we all start caring about that? I suspect Pool fans started caring about that the moment they were gash in front of the scenes.

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Fuck that sky high

Do we actually care though ?

I used to like those bits on Gazetta Football Italia where James Richardson would go off to chat with randoms like Daniel Fonseca or Ruben Sosa in a wine factory; seeing them out of a strict togger environment and doing something odd while casually talking about facing Foggia at the weekend was ace.

All this cack of seeing Steven Gerrards appallingly decorated mansion and wishing he had a son and heir isn't even 1% as compelling.

That said, doing a doc on Di Canio at Swindon would be ratings gold.

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get that golden glow with kenny fantum

That's different though. Following di Canio about is just spying on an absolute fucking loon. Be great to see him wandering around Asda, robbing olive oil.

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Fuck that sky high

di canio goose stepping through john lewis soft furnishings

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Generally just fucking about

Then signing Joe Lewis on a 4 year deal in the chiminea section of Swindon B&Q, then dropping to train with youth team and transfer listing him after Joe calls him "gaffer" in the press conference* instead "Il Duce"


*in a Picturehouse cinema bar, afternoon showing of "Bicycle Thieves"

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get that golden glow with kenny fantum